An intriguing remedy to complacency is a swift kick in the ass from a dear friend.
And suddenly realizing you love something far more than you've known.
Opportunities are often obscured by one's perspective. I would consider myself extremely blessed with my upbringing. I have a terrific work ethic, a strong sense of social justice, and an otherworldly ability to empathize while listening wholeheartedly to another human being (ßrun on). I thank my dad for my work ethic. I thank my mom for my good sense of right and wrong. And I thank the world for providing a continual need for someone to listen to their story.
Around every corner, we can assume there is a story about everything from the trees planted in the ground to the skyscraper dividing the horizon. Someone needs to tell their story, and often times I'm willing to set aside my every thought for a moment of sharing. I'm not complaining about it at all, just contemplating my worth. In a sense, I've somewhat shifted and devalued my time to give it up for someone else. Selfless as that sounds, it is true on all too many occasions. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to hear what has to be said, but I've been awakened recently to the story of my life. Unfortunately, I’ve been missing my life.
Take a deep breath in through your mouth, and exhale slowly through your nose. Repeat twice, then read on.
Call it selfish, call it stupidity, call it whatever, but I'm finally noticing the real sacrifice of my decisions to remain the person I currently am. It is an act that I truly haven't asked permission to be. Granted, it works. My family and I get by, but is it truly who I want to be? Of course not. What I want is to be more of a central piece in this family than I currently am. If someone were to view a film strip spanning the lives of Nicole and I, I'm sure they would say we are a great couple. But I would know the difference in what I envisioned for us than their perspective of what our lives look like. I'm torn by my iniquities. I want this to go on no further!
I beg for forgiveness from the potential we've had! We could be so much greater than we are! I am that much better of a person to realize my vows to my wife mean more than what I've regarded them. Imagine having the skill of Van Gogh, but only doodling two point perspectives for eternity! What a waste! No more!
Love can give a lot more!
1 comments:
First, I like that you pointed out a run-on sentence using an arrow. :-) And secondly, that you used a Van Gogh reference. You're awesome.
It's funny, because I understand why your'e gone all the time, and why you are in others people's lives, and how much you adore that, and how it's great for them to have a piece of you too, but I will admit, I get jealous sometimes knowing that the majority of your life has nothing to do with me, and I just don't really fit into it.
I love you. We're going to have a beautiful, blessed life.
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