Who wants to be a comedian?

My wife and I don't have cable, Direct or Dish. Not interested. But I can't say that I don't watch the tele when I'm overnight in a hotel. And no matter what, I always switch to comedy central. It gives me my comedy fix for a week at a time.

No matter if its a roast of some bad celebrity or an airing of an actual comic up on stage doing his show or some nubes hitting the mic for the first time, there is something to garner from watching them do their thing. I love watching the perfection (or not) of their timing. I'm not sure what style I like the best, but I bet that I would mimic a Dane Cook kind of act. Very animated and exuberant in telling these sometimes simple little stories with huge actions and explosive gag lines.

It's kind of weird, the persona held by comedians. Many are totally different people on stage then when they are hanging with regular joes... But it is something that sells or makes people laugh about the absurdity of the character itself. Who would have though ten years ago that a guy saying "Get er done" would become a world wide icon?! But that isn't really how his personality is when you are talking with Larry the cable guy in person. He is wicked smart and witty, but he knows and has built up something that sells. The guy is a millionaire because of "Get er done!" Ron White is a millionaire for saying "they call me tater salad." But all just a persona. Don't get me wrong, I think Ron probably carries his persona to a more lifelike portrayal if he has thrown a few cocktails back, but do you think Jeff Foxworthy sounds as slow and drawn out a character as he sounds when he says, "you might be a redneck."

I had visited a customer who is restricted to a wheel chair. Great person, she gets around everywhere in her power chair or wheel chair. But her son's friends thought of the wheelchair as a toy, and you can just about imagine the amount of mischief that can be stirred up with a group of teenage boys and on object with wheels on it. When I came upon them, they had all but scattered everything off of the kitchen island because someone had decided to do a wheelie with a rider on their lap in the wheel chair! Simply stupid and Jeff's "here is your sign" would have been appropriate. But I said, "one persons lifestyle is another persons mischief." The boys found it hilarious because it was simply true. A bloody lip from hitting the counter, the dishes scattered across the floor, and guess who gets home. She was hardly amused, but I calmed her down and said "boys will be boys, as dumb as we are..." A smile cracked her lips and she couldn't help but laugh.

Count yourself blessed if you can laugh at yourself. If you are confident in who you are, but know that you can change if you want to, who can't laugh at themselves. See oneself in others brings reality to a perfect mirror. I'm tall, and when a customer asks how tall I am, I never give them 6'5," I always say "tall enough to reach the ground." Most often, though it is a bad joke, I get a positive reaction from people because they come to realize that I've probably been asked that many times, and have thought out different responses because I'm tired of the same old thing. I was giving a customer her bill and I said, 10,044 pennies please! She looked at me so weirdly... All I could think was "come on lady, don't get left behind! Use your brain!!" But the funniest thing was her 14 year old down syndrome son figured it out right away and had to tell her. I couldn't help but laugh about the situation. This is the same son who grabbed his package and said, "Can I get some more sausage links!" I couldn't help but laugh. More so at the parents embarrassment then his statement. I knew why he did it and I wasn't offended at all. But it was a bit sad his parents were still riding the slow bus and didn't get it till he started exposing himself to get the "sausage link" out for demonstration. I was already out the door by then but I'm sure the poor boy had a stern talking to! Couldn't have been a funnier moment that day.

Laughter is often said to be the best medicine. But the majority of people who call themselves comics are outsiders by choice. The pain and suffering of keeping life's often times worst moments close to the tip of your tongue can offer a humorous window for many others to enjoy the world. Including my own son.

I twisted my knee up badly shoveling some snow. After hobbling inside, the anguish on my face was something Spencer hadn't seen, so he busted a gut laughing at the new creases of my frowns and tearing eyes. I can't say my frown stayed down after hearing him laugh so outlandishly; as if I was Ken Davis playing a crowd.

Recently, Ralphy May was performing in Sioux Falls to a sold out show. If you do or don't know a bit of his story, he has lost over 300 lbs since he first joined the comic scene. I've been moved by his stories about being on elevators and picking on the skinniest person joining the ride saying, "if we get stuck, its all your fault!" How funny to break the often silent ride of an elevator. You don't have to be grotesque(though he often is) to fill the world with humor. And knowing that stating an obvious thing about yourself is a great way to catch a crowd. Be different and enjoy yourself by making fun of yourself. I know I do.

Leia Mais…

...so much more than just a dream...

An intriguing remedy to complacency is a swift kick in the ass from a dear friend.

And suddenly realizing you love something far more than you've known.

Opportunities are often obscured by one's perspective. I would consider myself extremely blessed with my upbringing. I have a terrific work ethic, a strong sense of social justice, and an otherworldly ability to empathize while listening wholeheartedly to another human being (ßrun on). I thank my dad for my work ethic. I thank my mom for my good sense of right and wrong. And I thank the world for providing a continual need for someone to listen to their story.

Around every corner, we can assume there is a story about everything from the trees planted in the ground to the skyscraper dividing the horizon. Someone needs to tell their story, and often times I'm willing to set aside my every thought for a moment of sharing. I'm not complaining about it at all, just contemplating my worth. In a sense, I've somewhat shifted and devalued my time to give it up for someone else. Selfless as that sounds, it is true on all too many occasions. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to hear what has to be said, but I've been awakened recently to the story of my life. Unfortunately, I’ve been missing my life.

Take a deep breath in through your mouth, and exhale slowly through your nose. Repeat twice, then read on.

Call it selfish, call it stupidity, call it whatever, but I'm finally noticing the real sacrifice of my decisions to remain the person I currently am. It is an act that I truly haven't asked permission to be. Granted, it works. My family and I get by, but is it truly who I want to be? Of course not. What I want is to be more of a central piece in this family than I currently am. If someone were to view a film strip spanning the lives of Nicole and I, I'm sure they would say we are a great couple. But I would know the difference in what I envisioned for us than their perspective of what our lives look like. I'm torn by my iniquities. I want this to go on no further!

I beg for forgiveness from the potential we've had! We could be so much greater than we are! I am that much better of a person to realize my vows to my wife mean more than what I've regarded them. Imagine having the skill of Van Gogh, but only doodling two point perspectives for eternity! What a waste! No more!

Love can give a lot more!

Leia Mais…

Lessons and Learning

Ever wonder how we began to learn? If Adam knew everything he needed to when he was created, did he know how to teach having not been taught? His children and their children weren't with all the knowledge in the world (no pun intended of good and evil,) therefore who taught them? Just a thought...

I believe this; communication through written and verbal means is an amazing thing. The amount of shared knowledge astounds me to the point of understanding that I'll never know as much as I'll be able to handle and yet the information will continue to expand exponentially. Funny to think that I could lock myself in a resource room for years, the rest of my life even, and not make a good enough dent in the world's knowledge to know a 10th of it. Simply amazing.

Of course my memory serves as a better lubricant of losing knowledge. Fleeting thoughts aside, my knowledge of how to live with my son grows substantially every day! My clients fill me in, my family contributes, and most importantly, Nicole shares her already vast trivia in child rearing. I even get a few emails from national websites serving up the latest trends of parenting. All this information is extremely handy and entirely relevant of course, but... something is missing.

OH YEAH, EXPERIENCE!!

Not to say that I don't learn from books and verbal direction, but I can't wait to learn with a hands on approach. This means I will probably fail a time or two, but at least I'll be figuring things out from a standpoint that my brains likes the most. I'm a hands on learner. Show me a schematic for a house, and I'll be able to build it; no problem. With my hands and eyes and my brain. Telling me that things should be this way, or reading just words, and I may lose the intended lesson.

I'm analytic, but I'm a big picture kind of guy, and knowing how all the small things go while addressing the needs of a child builds the necessary foundation of how I should and shouldn't parent my child. Things need to make sense in the entire scheme of things in order for me to understand the smaller steps. Order is important, but if I do D, A, B, E C and still get the same result in the end, then I'm usually ok with that. Efficiency aside, when I get home from work, I know what chores must get done, but I have no routine about getting them done except that they should all be done before I hop into bed.

I'm told to get a routine, it helps make the baby's life easier. What about the baby who doesn't like routine or doesn't find one? I'm somewhat convinced that many kids that are labeled ADD are simply the kids that need to be taught a different way. They are like me, a global thinker, knowing what result needs to happen, but not so sure the way to go about making it happen. I wasn't the best student in school unless the lesson was competitive. I knew that if I was competing, I was winning something in the end. Tell me to do a math lesson, though most of the time easy, I didn't have the big picture in my brain to tell me why this was important. I didn't know where the lessons were taking me. Who is to say that ADD kids aren't normal? Only those whose brains are wired a different way. Analytical thinkers. The people that ask the "why" question, wanting to find the reason behind the cause so they can use it in the future. Decidedly, they are the A-B-C kind of kids. The school system caters to them, and calls the others ADD. Not to lump them all together in such polarizing groups, but its funny the way I see it.

Which ever way Spencer turns out, I'm not going to label him. I'm going to communicate with him. Sitting down and learning how he learns. That will be the greatest way over any obstacles keeping me from helping my son succeed in life. I'm willing to do take on that hands on challenge!

Leia Mais…

Doodles from the Expectant Dad

Over the weekend, my wife and her best friend suggested that I throw down some of my thoughts on becoming a father. Voicing my opinions about the goings-on of married life and the expecting treasure growing in my wife's belly sounds quite fun and entertaining, but I'm often troubled with the relativity of the action. Who am I writing for? I understand it's mostly for my wife to better know me through my words, but can someone else truly benefit from it? Of course you can! I can and You can, whoever you might be. You have the choice to continue on or to stop reading. Just like the radio station, change the channel if you don't like what you are listening to. And since you still here, I'll get on with the good stuff.

But wait just a minute! A quick rant about the radio since I brought it up. First off, what makes the United States, us, different from China and North Korea? How about the freedom of speech? Secondly, I personally didn't like Howard Stern, but I think radio is not as varried a place anymore since he isn't on the air. His views don't matter to me, but I still think they need to be said because they are his views. They are important, therefore they shouldn't be censored from the airwaves. Hmm, it just doesn't feel right to me that some people can have their words printed or said over the airwaves when others have just as polarizing messages to the opposite way, but still get air time. Freedom of speech goes both ways. Glen Beck can say whatever he wants. Micheal Moore can say whatever he wants. And you know what? I'm glad they can!! Because that is what is needed! More voices! People who are sticking up for their own thoughts, willing to argue over principles, justice and morality, I'm afraid, are often lost in their own lives. Do what is right. Exercise your freedom of speech. It's what the forefathers were counting on.

OK! Simply put (after that long rant,) I can't tell if I'm scared or not about being a father. *blink* *blink* Yeah, I said that right. After staring at it for a moment, realizing it was true, I'm allowing myself the time to gauge and really asses my feelings. But this takes a few statements about who I am to really understand the description I'll give regarding my disposition. First, I Love unconditionally. Second, I know what it is to be loved unconditionally. And third, Love is Life. What I mean by that is I love life unconditionally and with all of myself. I'm a glass half full with sugar on the rim! If I haven't impacted someone's life every day, I feel that I haven't lived my life fully. I have a gift to share, and some may believe that I will give to much, but I will never give to much of that which constantly overflows. Love is all around us. Just take a second to be startled into confusion, rendered to tears, shamefully jolted, or joyfully taken aback by the amount of Love that is around us. It is there, but you must bring yourself into the moment to experience it. Let Love in.

I'm very blessed to have a wife as amazing as I do. I read her blog and she raves about me all the time. Its payback time!! Haha! But seriously, how lucky am I? I've known Nicole for almost ten years now thanks to my best friend who introduced us. Our anniversary was in August, and after four years, I can honestly say I am madly and deeply in love with her still. It's sad to think of many people who aren't actually very happy with their relationship because they don't want to take it to the next level! But I pity them because I wonder if they even know what is really out there for their relationships? How wonderful it might actually be if they worked harder at loving with all their being, and discovering more of themselves for having done it. 10% of your brain is used for cognition and active logic and thinking. The rest is storage. Think of what you could do with 30% more brain usage? The same applies with how much love you actually give. I'm very sure that each time I kiss Nicole, she GETS IT! She KNOWS the amount of love that is there, and sometimes it might even overwhelm her. But that is what other friends and family and customers are for! My cup may overflow, but of course not in the same way that I feel for my wife as I do for my customers and their families. We have a special bond that can reach across many miles and make my heart smile through a memory, a random text, a picture, or a song on the radio.

My love for Nicole has rendered our relationship stronger than ever. A by product of that love is one of the greatest gifts I can possibly imagine. A child. Can I imagine cooing over a cute face, one that I would tirelessly work to support and love and cherish? Absolutely. Without question. And knowing that it really was a product of a shared love makes it that much more of a miracle! LIFE! YES! A triumph, a gift, a blessing, a life. More importantly, I have another person with whom I can share my love with, and I sometimes imagine he will share it back in such great volume, I'll break down and weep over its sheer beauty. He may not understand what love is until he is older, but he will know what it feels like to be loved. Unconditional and unrelenting. As selfish it may seem for me, I can't wait to be loved back by him. Spencer, my little warrior. Slaying apathy, I can imagine himself being a little preacher. But whatever he chooses to be, he'll be great to me.

Leia Mais…

And of Humor

Hello, is this thing on? Testing, testing, 1,2,3,4. OK, good, how are you doing? Funny me finding myself thinking about you finding me blogging. Who knew. With the time constraints on my life, sharing my thoughts on a regular basis haven't and aren't a real priority. Then I found out about sleeping habits. I don't have any.

I don't sleep enough. My family doctor would agree. I agree with her. I should take her advice seriously and try to get extra sleep, but I've suddenly realized that I would be cheating the world and myself out of some of the humor I see day in and day out. So I've decided to share for memory and for you.

Life is funny. The way I see it, life is far too short to not have fun. And by that I mean being responsible, taking care of business, but making sure there is time set aside for having a great time.

Laughter is the best medicine. I probably laugh at too many things, but it doesn't mean I don't get it. I am the kind of person who sees the humor in everything. Its my choice. No one can take that away from me. Most people I know see my face and recognize my smirk. I'm either delighted to see them, or I've somehow been humored by happenstance. I look at a wasp nest and its funny how that often tiny stem holds that thing in the air! Amazing! I wonder what kind of superglue spit was chewed up and regurgitated to help suspend that house in the air. Like me eating something sweet and sticky (lets say honey since we're talking stinging creatures) puking it back up and packing the bricks of our homes like mortar. Freaking amazing and funny!!

I've found humor to be hard to classify, this sight does a pretty good job of it http://www.iep.utm.edu/humor/
We'll talk more when I return after no commercial messages!

Leia Mais…